A little introduction rambling :)

Okay so this is kind of wierd right now to write like I am talking to "someone" even though I don't plan on sharing it much. I assume at some point I will so I'll just refer to anyone who is reading as you :). I like to brag about things and I think its sometime off putting. Half the time I don't realize how I come off while I'm talking until its too late. I think 'ah geez, I'm such a shmuck' but by then its too late. So please don't take it as sleezy full on bragging? I won't have the ability to edit out my 'shmucky-ness' without losing lots of trains of thought, so I'll just be me. As brash as that is!

So I JUST read for the first time today a blog a girlfriend of mine has set up on her weight loss. She unlike me has been sucessful at getting the weight off and keeping it off. I am in awe of her will power, and sheer strength to just not take the easy way out and eat what she wants and just sit on the couch and watch t.v.

I'm sort of creating this blog act as source of accountability. To be completely honest with myself and anyone that may stumble upon this blog! I want to be skinny. I KNOW I am a skinny girl trapped in a fat girl's body. I have the confidence of someone who is at the least 50 lbs lighter than I am now if not more! I don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. I weight 192.4 lbs today. I'm actually not that upset with that number because in January I weighted 203.2 lbs. So I've lost some weight.... but currently I gained back about 6 lbs of what I had recently lost. ANNOYING! That is because I have no juck food will power. I can eat crap for weeks at a time. i binge and binge and binge... and then something like Kelly's blog comes along and reminds me that HELLO! I am supposed to be on a weightloss journey. QUIT EATING CRAP!

So here I am. first day off of a binge...(so far if I keep my eating in check!) And I am starting the blog. Its going to be used in many ways...but mostly just a theraputic means for me to work through this struggle.

Thanks for reading!